Part 1: What the fuck am I talking about?

Nice, huh? Yeah, if it were that easy.
I, as a guy who has turned 18 this year, am a bit... frustrated with the concept? I'm not entirely sure as to what my feelings on the topic are. They are, definitely, complicated - to say the least.

It may be the fact that the entire concept was hyped a bit too much for my liking. It was advertised as a new and striking concept here to show us the world of The Bookstore (whatever that may be...) but instead, it was really another case of the bureaucracies. Because of course it was. Actually, it still is! The project is still going, but I might have to save this point for later on. In this little blog post I want to present my little criticism I have with the Kulturpass and whine about stupid decisions made by people who haven't talked to an eighteen-year-old in over thirty years.

Part 2: So they just hand you a bunch of cash?!

To digitise your government issued ID-card, you - German citizen No. 74820028 - need to make an appointment at your city's Citizens Registration Office. You may get lucky and sit there overmorrow at half past seven, or you don't! And you won't see them for another 6 months. Don't worry, the actual length of the appointment will be 10 minutes total, so those months in waiting were really worth it, weren't they? So, let's say you did get lucky and are sitting across some nice young man who now has to scan your ID-card. And if you are anywhere as lucky as I am, they will tell you that your ID-card is broken.

Okay, fine. This doesn't have anything to do with critique of the cultural pass, yeah. But i just love whining, so just humour me for a second there, yeah?

So, you drive home again in absolute disbelief, because you now have to get a new ID-card before you can even start thinking about the cultural pass. However, because nice people exist on earth, the man from the CRO actually e-mails you later that day, stating that their machine was probably broken and that you probably don't need a new ID-card. This Is A Win.

So you go- wait? Why am I explaining this in second person? I did this. So, I go back to the office and YEAH their machine WAS striking and I DON'T need a new ID-card. I have never been happier to be at the city's office ever before.

So, beautiful, right? You've got all the analogue to digital steps behind you, now you can-
You thought this was all? You thought this story ends here. Oh boy do I've got news for you. You need to, I shit you not, download an app called AusweisApp2 (IdentificationApp2) to scan your now digital ID-card. If you were wondering, like I was the day I had to do this: How many ID-apps are there that they have to numerate them? I can give you the answer: Exactly 1. Welcome to Germany.

Anyways, the scanning process is... weird, because not every phone can scan a digital ID-card. You just have to get lucky, I guess. Mine didn't work for example, for software reasons. I could use my dad's phone, which worked, but I was a bit of a struggle, really. You can tell how many of us just gave up before this point.

So after all this struggle, you will finally be able to open up... the Kulturpass™.
So... is it worth it? Does it really hold up to its promises of granting you the entrance to unlimited cultural offers (well, unlimited... 200€).
Well, this topic is kind of worth its own heading isn't it?

Part 3: Why am I being sold Springer books?

• For You
  • Exactly what you think it is, but with a worse recommending algorithm.
• Search
  • Exactly what you think it is, but with a worse sorting function.
• Reservations
  • That's how you pay.
• Favourites
  • A tab I have never opened. And of course:
• Your own profile.

So much for the first tab. Coming back to Springer books and nonfiction you can also buy via the Kulturpass: That was something I first found out via the Search-function.

The search-function is, how do I say this in a nice manner? Fucking broken. Good luck trying to find anything with this black hole for search entries.

Here's the kicker: You can only search by keywords, not ISBN, or by local providers - like your bookshop for example. If you try to search for an ISBN, you won't find the book you searched for, instead you will find a book with the same ISBN, just as a title. Hot tip for the keyword search, I've found: the more spelling mistakes, the more accurate the results! If the search query has somehow run dry (and I really don't understand how this can work sometimes...) the page will just recommend some academic papers fifteen cities over to you, regarless of how completely unrelated it is. This is what I call exploring the cultural landscape!

Other than that, everything is displayed on one really long page, essentially making it impossible to find something just by browsing. But don't worry! You can filter things. If you understand how the filters work, because I certainly don't. For the longest amount of time the website didn't catch onto my location, even after I've typed in my postal code, so I was under the impression that the nearest offer was at least 120km away. But now, it seems the programm just won't forget my location, even after I've logged off and I've deactivated any locating systems...

Also, this page just shows different results each time you refresh the same search entry. Why does it do that? Why does it work like that? And thirdly: The search results will only marginally be related to your search entry.

The search results will looks somewhat like this:

1. It's your lucky day, your book is actually available on here!
2. Some random academic book (price: 160€+) that has one word in common with the search query.
3. CD that also that has one word in common with the search query.
4. Germanic hero tales.
5. Church songs.
6. Tesselation of the 2D plane (200€+).

Part 4: So, have you done anything with your money, Tigs?

My fourth issue with the Kulturpass are the following three rules the Kulturpass itself states in their own GTCs:

1. You must be 18 to register (and have had your 18th in 2023).
2. You have to register until the 31st of Dec. 2023.
3. You have to spend your money by Dec 31st 2023.

Do you see the issue?
Do you see the fucking issue?

My birthday's in July and I still have ~60% of my money still in the bag. What do I do with 120 bucks in two months?!?!! What do the people do that are born in October? Listen, y'all. It's beginning to seem like you did not really think this through. And if you thought I just misread, no. These three things are stated consecutively under #8 in their GTCs.

So not only do you have to win the lottery to find a book you searched for, it is also absolutley impossible to spend all you money before an arbitrary deadline. I don't think that this was the effect the inventors of this concept were going for. Because this just encourages people to throw away their money into things they already know (think of your favourite book) so that they don't waste their money, but never explore any new things, because they don't have the time to really, well, live with the money. This was supposed to be a comfortable blubber of money for everybody, regardless of income, to get into more music and theatre and books and whatnot. Instead, it's kind of a fast-food buffet of just take something before your money runs dry essentially removing the first and foremost thought behind the project.

Am I still glad it exists? Yeah! Fuck yeah, sure I love getting money from the state, I'm a commie, baby. But I don't enjoy the way it was executed. I don't like the UI or any of the functions. I wish there was an actually working algorithm behind it all or just any thought behind the TOS. But alas, we have once again demonstrated German incapabilities when it comes to digitisation, so, lads, I think our work here is done.

Do tell me your thoughts and feelings on cultural pass. Oh and to all the Germans: Ich wünsch euch was, Freunde.