On Very Angry Farmers (and Other Childhood Fears)Apparently, I let my imagination run a bit wild as a ten year old, since the following story is a bit...weird. To understand the story I am about to tell, you'll need to know that my family bought a house when I was seven years old near the erstwhile German-German border and that it stands sourrounded by many fields that the local farmers till. Alright:
When I was about ten, I learnt about spring guns. How? I probably watched some fucked up documentary again and the fact that I could at that age connect "armed conflict" with the region we lived in probably didn't help.
Like I stated at the beginning, there were many fields sourrounding the house and that meant that I explored a lot of cart tracks at that time. This habit eventually died out when my neighbour (who was a year younger than me) told me that boars sometimes roam the area.
Anyways, I was walking down this cart track, having the time of my life when I wanted to go back, since I went pretty far. However, I really didn't want to go the long way all around the fields and instead thought of running in the tiny track between two fields in which nothing grew, which is where it hit me: spring guns.
What if...? my young dumb tiny brain at age ten asked herself What if this farmer in particular...had set up... spring guns... what if?. You might say: Charlie those were open fields- no they were not. Not only were they sourrounded by some bushes (that the supposed boars supposedly used as supposed hide-outs) BUT i distinctly remember this one brown box in the middle of it. Thinking back, it probably was some junction box or literally anything else.
Nevertheless, ten year old me did not think this far. So, I reluctantly had to walk all the way back around the fields - why the spring guns wouldn't shoot me there wasn't even on my mind - to reach home.
If this story told me anything, I don't know what it might be. Teach your kids about spring guns and please, if you do so; tell them that farmers usually are not angry enough at ravens and rabbits and their neighbours to utilise them.